myriad thoughts....

Love

2011-07-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

The night stretched as a used condom,
Plastic, full
And suffocated.
No, I won’t let it enter here
This safe haven.
Our tiny box
With skies of smoke
And Clouds of ghosts
Did you see those smoky hands?
Crawling on the wall
Poking that Old spider
And it’s lonely kingdom.
And that floating face
Grinning maliciously.
Its looks like you
Your dirty yellow teeth
Behind the smoke you exhale.

This room of our own
Stinks of our mingled sweat.
And leftovers of cheap food
Of many days or nights such as these
Who knows?
Look at those beer bottles
Soldiers at our door.
Each filled with our piss
We salute them
With all the seriousness
That we can muster
You fall off the bed
Chucking Satan
Saliva dripping off your chin
With a halo of smoke
Scared and shrivelling.
And I love you then
With my sutured soul
And as I lean to lick your sinewy lips
I too fall on the sticky floor.

What have we done!
Disturbed these hyperactive black ants
Gorging on traces of white powder
Look, just look, they are directionless.
These hard working angels
And you, the saviour with a healing touch
Smash them with your fingers
Stick them on the oily walls
And even eat a few!
Wild with ecstasy
You nibble at my tongue.

Eyes closed
Arms stretched across
I see a sea of rippling red
And as we ride,
Deeper and deeper
Tearing our insides
I trap the sea inside my eyes
Your sharp yellow teeth
Has left gashes on my corrupt skin
Wriggling like snakes
Drenched in blood
We have eaten parts of us.
Look there the sly housefly
Sits on that gluey substance
You gulp it down before it does
And spit on my mouth.
With Evil eyes
That squeeze my heart
And I crave for you
Like gushing blood.

Don’t you dare open the door!
And let them destroy our hell
‘Tonight you are mine completely’
If you’d leave, I’ll live
When all I want is for us to die
Stay here, staring at the smoky skies
Till our eyes are upturned
And tomorrow dies.

By
Zaid Al Baset
25/07/11
In memory of Amy Winehouse.

2010-09-24T03:23:00.000-07:00

on every page of history i have been burnt and yes i have learnt to make fire my home

2009-12-23T11:39:00.001-08:00

and so they made me with what they thought of me ....and so they never could find me.....
and so they made stories with my words.....

2009-10-10T21:34:00.001-07:00

homelessness is my only home ... to not belong is belonging itself .....

2009-08-21T09:35:00.001-07:00

i avoid 'details' in any relationship.. i refuse to entertain intimacy...i wonder why?? is it you that i'm running away from? or am i getting even closer?? and what's the point when its your absence that defines your presence in all that i refuse to feel...

remembrance is a strange conundrum, a feeling that lives and dies simultaneously in perpetual continuity.. its evokes the past and yet recreates itself in the present, turns alive and in the process of actualization dies in futility... remembrance thus transcends time and space..it makes the dead live and yet this life realizing it'self' ceases to live.

a riposte

2009-07-12T05:53:00.000-07:00

‘Eschewing the rules (of nature) may well open the floodgates of a wider churning’ states Swapan Dasgupta in his article ‘Inclusive desire’ published in The Telegraph (10.07.09), which is at best a polite and implicit disapproval of the Delhi High Court legislation that has decriminalized consensual homosexual sex, and at worst, an eloquent camouflaging of an author’s own prejudice. The aforementioned statement strikes one as a warning, wrought with a sense of premonition ensuing from the fear that breaking the rules of nature is against nature itself. Without making any tall claims on my erudition I wonder when and how nature spoke to man enlisting a set of rules which he must surrender himself to. Nature does not have a voice that is prejudiced; it revels in the free and the erratic. However, a discriminating voice is lent to it by culture. Rules are cultural products which are naturalized historically over time. The rules of nature are simply the rules of man (not humans, for that would include women) and man alone. It is interesting to note how something becomes an ‘aberration’ or ‘abnormal’- an essentially selective process which more often that not follows a simplistic logic of numbers. The majority, in everything it does and is, has the power to define what is ‘normal’ and clinically separate it from the ‘aberrant’ and this separation must be religiously maintained. The pun on religion is intentional for man (not humans, for that would include women) has forged this unbreakable link between ‘divinity’ and ‘nature’ so much so that the ‘abnormal’ is brutally suppressed by evoking the words of ‘god’ and ‘nature’ at the same time. But of course, I must be deaf since I am yet to hear their voices. ‘God’ and ‘Nature’ speak through the steadfast voices of those who are perpetually concerned with upholding the morality of civil society. I am no one to deter them in their noble cause, except that these steadfast voices have been strangely consistent over time: the voice of the whites against the blacks, the church against the witch, the Germans against the Jews, the wise against the youthful, the man against the woman and now the heterosexual against the homosexual or can it be simply summed up as the majority against the minority? Let me add another element here and stir well- the element of power that allows one to define what is ‘normal’ or ‘abnormal’ and then effectively link it to the ‘word of god’ and the ‘rules of nature’. Hitherto in all existing societies nature has remained silent on all counts. Man has structured these distinctions and he continues to do so (mind you again, not humans for that would include women and even gay men).

Homosexuality poses not so much a threat to individuals who can catch the virus once law releases it but to the institutions that have so lovingly served the interest of the powerful men, the men of God, and the ‘natural’ men (do I need to remind you again?). Homosexuality threatens to upturn the institution of marriage and family and the problem is not that such holy and sanctified institutions would degenerate and collapse but that such a collapse would emancipate what Man has sought to control throughout human history-Woman. The link between homosexuality and the feminine is both explicit and implicit. Isn’t a homosexual man not a ‘real’ man? Aren’t homosexual women problematically unfeminine? Homosexuality is problematic precisely because it upsets the well maintained dichotomy between the masculine and feminine. In a masterstroke, Men in order to ensure they remain the ever powerful and dominant have ensured that the feminine remains marginalized whether in the form of a woman or a homosexual (of either sex) and in doing so they have propounded the discourse on ‘nature’ and ‘god’. Blame it on our terrible memories, that when we speak about the rules of nature, we forget that these powerful men usurped it long ago, classified it, typified it, violated it and subjugated it to ‘culture’- a preserve of man ( well, can’t help reminding you, not humans for that would include women and homosexuals).

It is heartening that homosexuality in India might be decriminalized; however one is sceptical of this faith bestowed on law to bring social change. Homosexuals existed before the law came into being and will creatively do so even if the law is not scrapped. Let this not be a time to beg for a space that the condescending heterosexual Man has denied to homosexuality but let this be a time to celebrate those hidden spaces and render them open; spaces which could not and must not be suppressed by the fate of law for no law however powerful can stall the throbbing force of life and the desire to live!!!

2009-06-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

ah that terrible silence of the heart when it realizes that life has moved on and the gulf between us and those memories have widened.... all my journeying takes place in a void.... every joy is tinged with that bitter sweet sorrow that perhaps what mattered most was trampled by the superfluity of time......as i'm pushed ahead by the tide of life, all i crave is a return to innocence, to you love.

2009-06-20T11:40:00.001-07:00

true.. i have learnt to accept that nothing in this world is permanent/indispensilbe..a realization at once cruelly suffocating and at the same time wonderfully liberating .lets hope i can practice a conscious forgetfulness of life experiences ... lets hope that life doesn't keep reminding me of this aphorism..lets hope i fall in love hopelessly again and harbour illusions of permanence till my last mortal breath...

sonal and i ....

2009-04-13T00:23:00.000-07:00

the editing and publisihng course was a good thing ....3 months well spent .....became a part and parcel of the journey of life ....made new freinds ....strengthened old ties .....

2009-04-11T12:36:00.000-07:00

i see

2009-03-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

Down that busy lane,
Empty now, I saw you
I saw your tears
black rivers meandering
Down your sunken glossy cheeks
I saw your walk aware of its queerness
the restlessness in you to escape your own tragedy
you wanted to run and yet your thin legs felt pallid
you pushed aside the hair flirting with your brow
the world has been unkind to you
you wore bright garish electric blue shirt and skimpy jeans
your own body has betrayed who you are
I saw that the others gave you those grotesque looks
a sneer here, a disgusted exasperation there
my companion saw you and turned away
you became a non sight
you became a shadow
you disappeared in the darkness
That you have known for as long as you have known yourself
I saw you- a man
And then again I saw you -a woman
And I kept seeing
In Those eyes
Dark and lined
the eloquence of pain
the rippling of losses
the death of desire
the betrayal of hope
In those eyes
I saw myself.

by
Zaid Al Baset

HOMELESS

2008-09-29T02:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it rains ceaselessly
And droplets race down my body
Like some slippery moments
I spent with you on long wet nights.
Sometimes the sun scorches my body
And I miss the silhouette of your body
Against the warm rays of the sun
While I lay in bed feeling blissful
Screened from the rest of the world
Finding a sanctuary in the shadow of your eyelashes
The incandescence of your form
Mellowed the cruelty of the sun
And I’d come alive under the shade of your presence
Sometimes it gets really cold out here
I hold my body tight
And clasp my knees with my arms
And rub my forehead against the inner arc of my elbows
Yet I shiver and shake
And when I search for your reassuring eyes
I find myself squinting in the dark
I miss the blanket of your body
The fire of your touch
I miss burning in your caresses
I yearn for the fever of pleasure
My frozen body wants to melt into yours
Sometimes the streets get breathlessly crowded
And strangers brush past me like I don’t exist
They stare blankly as though I’m just another thing
Some stares longer than the other,
Suddenly becoming aware that there must have been beauty
Residing in me somewhere
I miss being held by your piercing gaze
I remember holding your hands
I remember walking with pride
Knowing in this over brimmed cup of life
You were mine
Secure that I belonged
I had a home.
And I had believed its walls won’t give away.

A home is all I had ever wanted
To be myself with you.
To let the masks slip
To be vulnerable
To give in
To let go
To merge
To disappear
To be free
To be found
To love
To be loved.
My home
Your body,
Your mind,
Your heart
Your soul
My only home.

Then came the tempests
Then shook the earth
The walls couldn’t contain you
Your illicit needs made cracks on the walls
Your indifference took up the entire place.
Yet I endured
My home
Was all I had?
Till it was no more

I’m homeless
A waif
Available now
Vacant
Should I advertise?
They touch me
They promise me shelter
They grope me
They say it’ll last
Just that I don’t live here anymore
Who is it inside me I wonder?
There isn’t me inside of me
Sometimes I miss my home.
Sometimes I really do.
BY
ZAID AL BASET

.........................

2008-09-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

Do not make promises that will disappoint,
Don’t make me search for eternity in your sparkling eyes

Just let this moment be
Let no past taint its sheen
Let no future mar its gleam,
Just take a snapshot of this moment in your mind
Cause sooner than you think ill be out of your sight
Cause sooner than you wish ill be out of your mind.

I have rummaged for love in this cluttered world,
I have gathered bits and morsels of love,
But let me not forget that love cannot hold me tight
For I’m not what, with which is love defined
No you can’t marry and take me home,
No you can’t hold my hand and feel bold

Don’t tell me you want this to last forever
Don’t be so sure that you will never go away.

I have heard these words so many times before.
I have seen such eyes admire me before
But trust me there a thin line between poetry and abuse
Please believe when I say you won’t stay forever seduced

I’m a magician and I can cast spells
But let me tell you a secret - these illusions will betray
And then you shall run, run for your precious life
And you shall make every moment a beautiful lie

Don’t insist you can love no one but me
Don’t say you are attracted to just me

Love, that fleeting, ephemeral high
Lust, that desperate unbearable sigh
So you felt both with me in your arms
Yet your eyes were closed,
Your senses were numbed with pleasure
You did not realize what I was, did you?
Not a man that in daylight you could abhor
Not a woman who you’d desire in some wet dream
I was just an essence
A promise of love
A soul searching for some permanence
In this temporary world
You neither lusted nor did you love

Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you the dream would break,
Don’t tell you didn’t know that you will wake up and leave.

For I was simply an essence
A promise of love
A soul searching for permanence
In this temporary world.

by
Zaid AL Baset

2008-08-02T03:17:00.000-07:00

when words can't express the paroxysms of my heart, the eyes say it all..and the silence in them speaks for itself, yet you look not, you turn your eyes away.....

confessions of a broken hearted mind part 2; the night.

2008-07-28T23:59:00.000-07:00

18: 20: I wish I could bang the phone really hard and throw it away. Alas it’s a mobile phone. I want to squeeze the life out of it. Can’t do that either. Words, your words are creating a pandemonium in my mind, like a thousand bees buzzing inside my head. I can’t whisk them away. (Your words whip the heart)

18:25: Yes. Tying your shoelaces is more important, and that’s just one among the zillion other things that are more important than me. Yes I have incarcerated you, imprisoned you, yes, I must have been a disease which sequestered you from the exhilarating and seductive world. Yes, I’m the shadow that you have been trying to run away from but couldn’t out of mortal fear!!!! Yes I’m must be a monster eating you away. (Strangely though I could never make you stay)

18:45: Sigh! Lying in bed silently, doing nothing. Feeling a little numb, are these things really happening to me? I feel detached, its like a nightmare, where terrible things are happening to me, Im falling, tumbling, breaking, drowning, exploding, arrows are hitting me, knives are cutting me, rocks are bruising me, fire is burning me and yet im placidly asleep. That’s how I feel now. It’s a nightmare all rite, but then again I have the assurance that I would wake up and things would be like they always were. Wouldn’t they? (Things would never be the same again. Never ever, ever!!!)

18:46: I stare at the clock blankly, the minute hand doesn’t work, time seems to have stopped, I stare at it harder, hoping time would move on, hoping that this too shall pass. If only the minute hand showed some sign of movement, it won’t budge. (Three years of living a lie, such a waste)

18; 01; my aquarium looks filthy with overgrown fishes, they stare at me, beseeching me for food, they are perennially hungry it seems, like the hunger of the entire African continent has united inside their bellies. I go n drop some dry pellets which they gobble up with much enthusiasm, they depend on me for food, and I resolve to alleviate their hunger, how American eh? See I could try American, you kept saying we are great losers, that Americans break up on a fast track, like breaking a kit kat I guess….but I can’t, I have a mawkish Indian heart.( I’m sure Americans cry too for love, all humans do,u don’t!! get the point?)

19; 02: spick and span, prim and polished, now your highness has deigned to give me a missed call, such royalty makes me cringe, like the sight of an artistic mix of garbage in front of the slums adjacent to my house, perfect in its repugnance.

19: 10; I call, all I hear is a cacophony of horns and voices and the wind howling like it has nothing better to do, like an eternal bully, howling like its laughing at my misery. Then u tell me all I know, then you confess with a voice so rueful that I could imagine you sitting in a confessional of a beautiful church in the French countryside, such a dulcet voice, and such harsh words. I know you don’t love me anymore, u never really did, I know you aren’t attracted to me anymore, were you ever? We just groped each other for some time and it was fun, but then you realized you were caressing all the wrong things, oops! Wrong number. You never really made love to me; you just sought carnal pleasure (unwittingly I was making love to you)

19; 30: I take out my tarot cards, shuffle them and lay them in a fan spread, like a violet Chinese fan, I choose a card, it’s the reversed knight of cups, which means love is going away, and there is an impending heartbreak. True, so what’s next I ask my cards, and I pick up the devil, of all cards the devil, which means discontentment and depression and all things dark, it also means shackled existence, I’m fettered by my feelings for you, true again, what’s the ultimate outcome? I reshuffle the cards, I choose one, it’s the fool, the first card of the major arcane, symbolizing the air, the freedom of new beginnings, the spirit of hope, strange the fool is the first stage of realization, yup I feel like a fool, a fool of the highest most profound order. (You fooled me with false promises and fake reassurances)

20;00 SILENCE

20;30: well couldn’t help it, tears roll down my cheeks, tried not to but just couldn’t stop myself, I want to heal, I don’t want to hurt, not for a worthless liar, but the truth is I loved, I loved with all my heart, my soul and my body, I loved every moment, I loved every inch of you, I loved like there was no tomorrow, I loved like it would last forever, I loved like ill never love again, I loved like you are my breath, I loved like id never let go, I loved like ill be you, I loved like crazy, I loved you like my life, I loved you like my most precious, I loved you for all that you are, I loved you for all that you couldn’t be, I loved you. I really did love (and I lost)

20;45 kept crying, popped a sleeping pill, want to die, no! no not for a moron like you, but I just don’t want this life, u give it your best and it gives you a kick in the butt!!! I don’t want myself someone who could love so much and is still shamelessly in love….. (Fuckity fuck, I love you)

20;46; feeling inadequate, like I lack something, I’m a little scared how would I walk down the streets seeing the things you desire and covet and realizing I don’t have them( but they’ll never have what I could offer just that you didn’t need it)

21;00 I go to the mirror to look at myself, it’s a habit really, took a hard long look at my face, tiny rivulets of tears on my cheeks, such expressive eyes, so ancient, such pain, such beauty, what the hell? with a face like that, who needs you honey!!!!!!!!!

by zaid al baset

The Sociobiology of BITCH

2008-05-15T01:58:00.000-07:00

The word ‘bitch’ has had a long history to traverse, and on its way across cultures and epochs has taken new meanings, discarded old ones, turned over a new leaf, has been embraced by some, derided by others, some have shied away from using it while others have used it as their takiya kalam, it has instilled a sense of pride in some and some have been shamed by the very label. Bitch is undoubtedly one of the most versatile words in the English dictionary for it exhibits reptilian tendencies of changing its meaning and usage with varying contexts, the word dangerously oscillates between the derogatory and the complimentary and consequently humble recipients of this word are never too sure of how to deal with it.
I use the word regularly being unabashedly fond of it. Infact so enamored I am by this word that I have seldom shirked to advertise myself as one, and have used the label lovingly for my near and dear ones. (Except my parents of course, lines have to be drawn somewhere isn’t it?) bitch for me means everything in general and nothing in particular, if you would ask me to define a bitch, id be rather tautological and contend that a bitch is a bitch is a bitch !!!! But then again what is a bitch and why do I use the word when I love something that someone has done, when it’s nasty and exciting, or when I hate something and its equally nasty and exciting? Why do I use the word to denote a person, an act or simply as a full throated exclamation BITCH!!!! A loud thump of a noise is created from my mouth with my tiny eyes bulging out of its socket and I feel like it’s a job well done, I breathe easy and I feel lighter as if the pressure of the word against my chest has been eased, like I have excreted what refused to metabolize inside me and was desperate to come out and declare itself. Yes bitch is such a word, a word that’s powerful and finds itself being uttered in the most inappropriate situations without any precision of meaning. We all use it, most of us don’t know why we use it and are rather vague about what it means, and to put it philosophically it bridges important gaps between thought and speech.

What made me think so profoundly about this commonplace word??? Well let me narrate an incident that transpired in our beloved orkut, a rather favorite friend of mine, who got married recently and was honeymooning with her spouse had chosen to forget my existence on earth( mind you the debate that prancing around in the arms of a lover in the Swiss alps is heaven achieved doesn’t console me much). Much to my dismay she refused to answer my scraps for sometime which resulted in a large fonted entry in her scrapbook with the ever elusive word BITCH!!!! To which she still didn’t bother to respond, such is the power of newfound love and sex. To add to my woes her hubby saw the scrap, didn’t take it kindly and it culminated into their first fight, wherein the hubby insisted that no friend of hers had the RIGHT to call her wife a bitch, particularly someone who goes by the name witch in orkut!!!!( and is a man). Guess it pricked him at all the wrong places and I was asked to abstain from addressing my beloved friend in the same loving manner again. At a loss of my favorite word bitch I felt grossly inadequate; it took me less than a nanosecond to label the hubby himself a bitch!!!!

The word literally means a she dog. On googling the word I came upon an interesting site which provides clear cut distinctions between the male and female dogs. Male dogs are affectionate, exuberant, food motivated, attentive and aggressive. Cut to the human scene, men are affectionate too (of others wives), exuberant (in displaying their powers and prowess) food motivated (yes food for the stomach n libido!) attentive (to work and female anatomy no doubt) and aggressive (hyperactive balls!). Analogies like this fit well, and are ignored or taken for granted. The problem arises when we consider the bitch. Bitches are independent, stubborn, and territorial, reserved and have mood swings. Clearly in a patriarchal system such qualities have to be suppressed, rendered unnatural for being a woman entails being submissive, pliable, allowing men to treat them as their property, caring and displaying melodramatic emotions, (name it and they feel it). Thus a woman cannot and should not be a bitch. Lo behold if she ends up being one its bad news!!! No wonder the word bitch has been generously used alongside words like ‘slut’ ‘whore’ ‘easy lay’. Society commended that the women bitches had to be condemned. Not surprisingly today’s bitches were yesteryear’s witches and they met with terrible fates, burnt for being perverse for trying to create a place for themselves other than their man’s sacrosanct feet.

Clearly then when it came to the question of finding a voice and an identity in this unequal world, women especially the bra burning, chest thumping brigade decided to elevate the status of the bitch, they embraced the identity, they reveled in it, they united through it. Finally bitching and gossiping received it due status in the scheme of affairs. Obviously there are the puritans who still regard a bitch- woman as a bitch-dog and that is understood as not a very nice thing to aspire for.

Palpably bitch and bitching were emerging as female hegemonic traits challenging the hegemonic masculinity and its consort, the emphasized femininity. Obviously men had to save their balls, had to penetrate (the desire doesn’t expire till death) and encroach by subverting the power that was being associated with the feminist acceptance of the word bitch. What did they do? They gave birth to the male bitch, gay, effete and rather low in the masculine hierarchy, it all began in prisons, where prison bitch were men who were passive recipients (polite way of saying they were sodomised) of the desire of the more powerful or senior inmates, men are horny by nature, if they don’t get women, men of certain kinds would suffice, so carpe diem it was. So men didn’t even allow a women to be a bitch peacefully, such tyrannical usurpers of identity were never born. Even this did not satiate them so then emerged the trend of male gossip reputed to be as pernicious as its female counterpart and clearly the word bitch lost its sexual exclusivity, and since then the word has taken a plethora of meanings and can be used for everything and anything under the sun. so now there are male bitches , female bitches, sexy bitches, gay bitches, lovable bitches, sweet bitches, bitchy bitches, bitch bitches ( I mean the she dog) infact even life has become a bitch !!!! It’s fascinating, the uniqueness and adaptability this word is capable of, I won’t be surprised if a new bitch cult emerged worshipping the word bitch.

Well I think I have bitched enough, wagged my tail enough its time I bitch off!!!!
But before I do that id love to raise a toast or let’s just say a tail to all the self confessed bitches of the world. Stay a bitch and keep bitching!!!!!!
BY
ZAID AL BASET
© 2008 by Zaid

godless'ness'

2008-04-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

I saw a cross among a crowd of buildings while driving on a flyover, atop a church which was not visible. It had red lighting along it edges which made it stand out against the black and white background, the blackness of the night sky and the dull white of tall buildings. Cars move fast on a flyover since there are no speed breakers, no traffic so obviously the cross vanished from my sight as soon as it had appeared, yet I had a desire to stare at it hard and long. It was a fleeting but fetching sight, as exhilarating as spotting a shooting star. And just like a shooting star is lost before we can close our eyes and wish for our deepest desires to come true, this bleeding cross passed me in a flash. I’m not a Christian and neither a religious soul at least not in the way people define being religious. Yet the sight of the red shining cross overwhelmed by huge buildings made me wonder if in our city god feels a little claustrophobic. The city life, the busy life, the hard life has profaned god; god is now just another building among a plethora of others albeit of a different shape and size as though we have shown some grace and kindness to him by placing him in a different looking building. A building with a dome houses Allah, a building with a cross is the abode of Jesus, and a building with ornate carvings is where the Indian idols (not the singing variety) reside. It’s easy to recognize each of these buildings and their respective gods but it is easier to ignore them in a city like ours. How many times have we crossed these buildings and spat on the pavement in front of these sacrosanct structures? the adventurous few have also relieved their bladders on the walls surrounding these buildings. They do not have anything against god per se; there isn’t any real malice in their hearts, just that public toilets are a huge paucity in our city and like all other things we men have little patience and perseverance when it comes to controlling the pressure. At least gods have some space left to themselves, we humans are overflowing everywhere like flooded drains, and I think we are invading god’s space in more ways than one.

A bizarre question comes to my mind; many would think it rather perverse, what is more important for the bustling cityscape more toilets or more space for god? I think I’d avoid answering the question lest the VHP, the Fatwa Committee n all other religious organizations label me a blaspheme for equating toilets to religious spaces and pose serious threats to my existence on the planet. All I’m saying is that both toilets and gods are a necessity for most of us and both are having an existential crisis in our city’s public space.

God made us we are made to believe, god made earth our home then why on earth are we limiting god’s spaces, these days all we get in the name of houses are concrete boxes, with very little space for our own existence, so god’s space in our homes have reduced too, mostly its gone. Though strangely enough we have nicer toilets, with new state of art equipments like jet sprays! Clearly we are not giving god his due space. We are the meanest children that ever could be.

But then again the battle for space is not simply physical; I think what has transformed more dramatically that the cityscape is our mindscapes. We haven’t forgotten god, god forbid us if we do. We are still very religious, when we are very tired we do say “oh god”, when the exam paper is difficult we do say ‘shit god’ when we see that snobbish hot babe in skimpy clothes walking ahead of us we whisper ‘oh my god’, when we see couples showing public display of affection we exclaim ‘hey ram’ when we can’t bear those aches we shout ‘ya Allah’ when we have forgetten something that we should have remembered we cant help but sigh ‘jesus!’ of course we pray to god morning , day and night, reminding him off all the things he hasn’t given us like good marks, nice salary, hot partner, the latest mobile phone, the split A/C, the flat with a verandah and before I forget the angrezi style toilet, we remind him that we love him and because we love him he must love us back and the only way he can convince us of his love is by giving us, through some ingenious twist of fate what we don’t have. We also need god to blame him for all the things we haven’t been able to accomplish. Its difficult enough to accept failures in a city where we are judged all the time, to take the blame for the same is just beyond human capabilities, so there always a god in hand to dump our failures upon, truly a god in times of such pressing needs is a god indeed. But of course we are religious people; we are as religious as we can conveniently be.

In a city like ours, its not god who has created us, it is we who have created god, a god we can conveniently pray to, love, ignore, hate, argue with, philosophize about, riot over and most importantly dominate. We provide him space if we chose to; we kick him out if there’s no room for him, we follow him only through our selfish motives, we take him for granted like spoilt children. In a city like ours god has ceased to reside in our edacious hearts. He is a figment of our stressed out minds, a cheap and effective balm to the headaches that the city life gives us. In a city like ours there is no real god, it is we who have perfected the art of playing with gods and deceptively letting god assume that its him who calls the shots, truly the only space god can claim today is a fool’s paradise.

by
zaid al baset
© 2008 by Zaid

the abyss of love

2008-04-10T04:39:00.000-07:00

Tumbling down faster than the waterfall
And crashing against the obstinacy of my feelings
Breaking into tiny droplets of hope
Against the hardness of your indifference
My bruised soul begs for freedom
Freedom from the pangs of you
Yet there is no satiety in the horizon.
Hunger fulfilled is only hunger renewed

Has falling water ever stood to rest?
Have the hard rocks softened a little?
Another cruel law of love I guess
What falls keeps falling
Faster and faster
Into the abyss of love.

There are no oases to rejuvenate
There are no lifts to rise again
There is no light
But for the burning within the soul
There are no platforms for temporary breaks

Once the heart skips a beat
Once the heart slips a bit
The soul is left with no choice
Its falls forever
Into the abyss of love.

by
zaid al baset
© 2008 by Zaid

TEMPTATION

2008-02-27T11:50:00.000-08:00

You look at me
A little scared
A little hesitant
Ah you try to resist my temptation
My long slender shiny curve
Am I too hot for you?
Shall I burn your tongue?
Ah the redness of my skin
Doesn’t it spice your fantasies?
I know you undress me in your mind
I know you long to sniff my body
I know I smell of secrets
And treasures you have always hunted
Yet your hands shake when you bring me close
Yet your lips quiver against my smooth skin
Are you too pious to sin?
Are you not daring enough?
I know you always weigh the pros and cons
But don’t you know the eternal law
That pleasure comes only from pain
I know you want me inside your mouth
Ah but I see you know I sizzle
So you are scared to burn?
I know I can make you cry
I know I make you salivate
Ah my friend I can feel the fire in your lions
Ah I see they warned you against me
They said you’ll gasp for breath,
Your tongue will burn like hell
You will thirst for more
Oh those silly prudes what do they know
Insipid lives they led and died
I’m sure you don’t want to be like them…
There I see your eyes stare at me
You are ready to devour me
I’m a challenge ain’t i?
You don’t like me being such a tease
Well then what are you waiting for
Here I’m shiny slender and naked
Waiting to be tasted
Burning red
Tantalizing red
Inviting red
Come bite me
For I’m your red chilli!!!

BY
ZAID AL BASET
© 2008 by Zaid

FORBIDDEN

2008-02-09T10:59:00.000-08:00

Drenched yellow flowers on wet earth
That fell from trees shivering in the rainy cold
Fill the night with an intoxicating excitement
Huddled together, along a slender pathway
They escape the grasp of the brutal winds
Like children running away from an angry mother
I gaze at the patterns they make on the ground
The demure yellow flowers tease the salacious earth.
They distract me for a moment or two
And suddenly I tremble from head to toe
In desperate anticipation of you
Wrapped in a warm blanket
My body yearns for you.

The wheels of the cars that pass by
Crush these flowers under it
Stains and bruises the helpless petals.
Again that same shiver runs down my spine
I press my hands against my thighs
To control these uncontrollable fits of passion
I can’t explain the paroxysm
All I want is to be crushed against you
All I want is to suffocate in pleasure
All I want is to feel oppressive pain

Piercing needles of water strike the widow panes
The wind spanks the door over and over again
And all I want is to gasp and groan
And all I want is to hurt and moan
In desperate anticipation I wait
To be your obedient slave.

BY
ZAID AL BASET
© 2008 by Zaid

FAREWELL

2007-11-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

My bags are packed …
I took everything I could
But some things are left behind.
I couldn’t bear the load
Some memories are scattered here and there
Few words of love
Some abuses you hurled at me
Uncomfortable silences

I couldn’t take away my tears
They fell off my eyes
Like orphaned raindrops
And you didn’t wipe them dry
U were looking away….
So I have left them behind
Don’t worry they wont stain your floors.

I think I lost my smile somewhere too
Looked around everywhere
Rummaged through all our dusty rooms
I couldn’t remember where I had kept it away
I guess you had snatched it some time ago.
Maybe it’s still there with you.
I don’t think you will treasure it
So let it free sometime

Oh yes I also left my dreams behind
And some unfulfilled wishes too
But of course I couldn’t carry my expectations with me.
And my desires just refused to contain themselves inside my bag.
So I threw them all away
Out of the window of our room
I saw them falling like feathers
Slowly being swayed by the breeze
I guess they wanted to be rescued
To be saved and secured…
But I let them go
You never cared for them anyways
And what would they do when I’m gone?
I saw them lying broken on the streets
Weeping silently they were crushed by footsteps
I saw it all
I felt like a murderer
But you had murdered them many times before.

Another thing was too heavy for my bag
Lots of unanswered questions
That kept darting across my mind.
Why didn’t you care enough?
How was I a sadist?? When I got all the hurt???
How was I the cheapest?? When all I asked was love??
Why did you break all those promises that I gave my all to keep???
So a bag full of questions I locked inside a cupboard.
They kept shouting for answers
Maybe someday you will find their answers
Now all your time is yours, so just spare some for them….

And finally there something else I just couldn’t take with me …
I placed some below your pillows...
I left some on my side of our bed...
I sprayed some like perfume all over our home.
Maybe you will hear them at night like a melancholy lullaby
Maybe you will listen to them when you miss my voice
Maybe you will feel them in your silences
Unsaid words I’m leaving behind
I know they’ll reach you when I’m gone
Unsaid words….
That I love u
That you will be missed
When you are tired of your noisy music
All I ask is just try listening to them…..
Unsaid words
Like a story never told…
Like a song never sung…

Well then, its time to go…
The bag is ready, waiting by the door…
I’m leaving…letting you go…
I’m walking really slowly…
Quietly, towards the door…
I know you won’t call my name …
I know you won’t hold me back…
I want to run back and hug you tight
For one last time ….

But you were already enjoying your music
So I slipped away unnoticed
Like a flimsy musical note….

by zaid al baset
© 2007 by Zaid

Amorphous L'amour

2007-11-28T08:55:00.001-08:00

(When will you realize that I cannot be fit into a mold.)

There is no cup,
no retainer,
no shape
or form.

It is only the abstract that exists
It is only the essence.
It is only the being.

There are no words,
There are no gestures,
No standards, no fixtures...
It is only the fluidity of my soul...
The flow of my emotions.

It is the abstraction that is me.
The intangible.
The illusive.

Language is only an accessory.
Let the silence speak.

Let's be primitive.
Let's undo the rules.

Don't hold me.
Don't mold me.
Don't fix,
don't shackle.
Don't measure me up --
Just let me be
Just set me free,
Let me run and see my fly

It is the abstraction that is me.
The intangible.
The illusive.

Language is only an accessory.
Let the silences speak,

Let's be primitive,
Let's undo the rules,
Let's return to nakedness.
Let's flow with the cosmos.
Return to the state of light.
The nebula that gave birth.

Call it what you will,Call it what you want --
Nirvana,
Heaven,
Moksh.

Let me take you to heaven,
Just hold my hand.
It is me,
Here and now.
Just withdraw your defenses,
Let's be one.

No boundaries,
No spaces,
No distances
No pace.
No matter,
No state,
No being,
No you,
No me.

Just IS
Just AM
Just ARE
Just will be...

Just a fusion
A cosmic amalgam
Just a streak of lighting
Or a wave of sound.

jointly written by me and my dearest friend yuyu......our thoughts just blend wonderfully!!!!!

IF

2007-11-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

if you love me,kill me
if u covet me,imprison me,
if u hurt,make me cry
if u don't,please at least try
if u miss me, tie me up
if u need me,please never give up
if u want me,just don't let go
if im a game, thn please don't lose

(i found this in my college notebook..lol)

Wait

2007-11-22T21:27:00.000-08:00

she wanted him to come....
she really wished him to...
she knew he won't...
she waited still...

my perfect stranger

2007-09-07T12:28:00.000-07:00

Silence steps slowly, softy
Along with the crepuscular skies
Phantasmagoric images dance
In front of my tired lonely eyes
Shadows perform orgies on dusty streets
Desires are crushed with every heartbeat
And there I walk among the milling crowds
Catching glimpses of me on glass doors
Reflections ask me is it you?
I look away bewildered and blue
No I will not lose myself tonight
No! I promise myself I will not look at me.
I want to believe that reflections lie.

Ah my pretty stranger walking next to me
Do u know I have been thinking of you.
I know not who are you yet I match your footsteps
And I feel so safe and secure.
Are you thinking of me too?
I know we may never walk together again.
I know I wont even remember your face
And yet a secret we have shared
Do you know I lost my love tonight?
Can’t you shed a tear for me?
Oh pretty stranger wont you even try
You know love left me to walk alone tonight
But look I found you my lovely stranger
Wont you hold my hand?
Can’t I hug you and cry?
Wont you so much as give me a sympathetic eye?
Oh please! At least a comforting smile…
Can’t we walk together forever in this stolen moment?

Ah my pretty stranger you left like all others do.
You walked away straight and I had to cross the road.
I turned around to take one last glance at you.
Goodbye my lovely stranger
Wish you love and happiness
Thank you for the gift of hope you left me with
Somehow I know we will meet again
Just that tomorrow you will have a different face!

by
zaid al baset
© 2007 by Zaid

I

Pain

2007-07-24T12:27:00.000-07:00

It’s a tumultuous night
Dreams have faded slowly
Tears have been rubbed away
Insecurity is at its vertiginous height
The heart aches unbearably
Despondent desires hold their sway
The air is restless and confused
Thoughts swirl in a dark room
The mind pines for the shards of peace
Which has been shattered and abused
Love has butchered the vulnerable veins of a hapless heart
The spilt blood carries the pathetic pain to every cell
The prostrate body twitches with a start
Helplessness enshrouds the battered soul
Trust and faith have been broken apart.
The lover has played a malicious game
Deceit and betrayal has been his forte
Excuses and defenses have become far too lame.
The despotic lover lives his life
Ruthlessly he had labeled his beloved a compromise.
Paranoia of the tyrant’s infidelity had plagued the beloved’s mind
The belligerent beloved craves, sulks, pines, frets and waits
The sly lover taunts, mocks, tortures and neglects
The beloved‘s fatigued mind flirts with the idea of suicide
Death cajoles loss to take its side
Distrust chokes the beauty of love
The baleful beloved is caged like a dove
Fettered by his own emotion
A victim to his torturous lover
A hostage to his irrevocable need

So, in this unending tumultuous night
The beloved seethes and bleeds
Fresh wounds lacerate the soul to the lover’s delight.

By
Zaid al baset
© 2007 by Zaid

The Night

2007-07-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

The naked moon pines for the warm embrace of a cloud
Stars coruscate in their solitary splendor
The sky plunges into the depths of darkness
The tress stand solemnly witnessing the age-old ritual
Orange lights illuminate a soulless city
Cars swerve in a flash of psychedelic lights
Tired legs tread home for vacant solace
The end of a cycle begins
The night cascades like thick dark mane of a goddess
Oh night ..the lonliest among the lonely

Two bodies turn against each other on opposite sides of the bed
A man shivers in delirium inside the deep tunnel of love
A woman whispers sweet nothings on her beloved’s ears
Two bodies entangle in a sacred embrace wrapped in a warm blanket
The sweet smell of sweat
The swift and staccato breaths
Two men discover sacrilege in a shabby hotel room
Hearts beat wildly
Lovers moan softly
He waits to be pressed against the wall
She can’t bear to rise and fall
A half filled glass of wine is kissed by red wet lips
Lilting music makes the wretched whore sway her hips
The night enraptures like a lover’s ballad
Oh night.. of searing desires..brighter than the burning flame
Oh night of blissful passion…when lust has lost its rein

The black widow devours her mate
In the brutal act of fornication
She is cursed to be the prey and the captor
The owls caste an evil spell
Ghosts in our fearful hearts dwell
Wasps and moths are drawn to the glaring lights
They reach the cresendo of their facile lives
The cat’s eye shine an emerald green
Street dogs howl at the corner of an empty street
Bats fly around searching for something to eat..
The night coils like a venomous snake
Oh night like the inescapable web of the black widow spider
Oh night of secret mysteries… magic wand of the true magician

The nights wraps us all in the light of darkness!!!

by zaid al baset
© 2007 by Zaid

Ode to tahseen

2007-06-28T02:44:00.000-07:00

Remember how we loved the rains
Getting drenched to the core
Running around like free souls
Needles piercing our bodies
Wrapping us in shared ecstasy
Greens all around us.
Hungry eyes hoping they could be us
Celebrities of Park Street
Daring to live and beguile
U and I
Oblivious to the world.

Remember how we sat in class
Huddled together at a remote corner
Sneering at the boring lectures
Giggling at the professor’s gestures
Restless in our imposed lassitude
Writing our incoherent thoughts
On thin single lined copies that talked
Didn’t they know we had our own space?
Didn’t they know we created a whole new world of words?
Why couldn’t the professors just catch hold of us?
U and I
Impenetrable in our togetherness

Remember how we walked around the streets of kolkata
Struggling under the dreadful scorching sun
Fearing we’d get tanned
Shading our sweaty faces
With bags, rags, copies, files and hands
Just to prevent sunburns
Your slow footsteps struggled to match my hurried catwalk
I always turned back to look at your permanent grimace.
Your spoilt slothful innocence
Endearing at its best
People leaned out from cars to look at us
Shopkeepers couldn’t help but notice us
We made heads turn
U and I
Two rivers flowing under the open skies.

Remember our great escapes
How we hoodwinked three professors
Slipped out and bunked class
To watch a movie
Or sit at ccd
We roamed around pantaloons
Window-shopped at Westside
You enjoyed the attention of a salesman at planet m
Wherever we went you paid the bill
And I paid the tip.
How we avoided your father’s friend
You walked ahead
I walked behind
What if your bitchy relatives saw us?
What if juicy rumors did their rounds?
We had thrown caution to the winds
U and I
Perfect partners in crime.

Remember how much we talked
Face to face, talking copies
Phone calls smses et all.
We woke up to each other’s voices or words.
We went to sleep with the same
We would study together in our separate homes
Racking our tired brains.
Is there anything that escaped our words?
Is there anything that we failed to express?
We were together even when miles apart
U and I
And time just flied….

Remember how good we looked together
Our classmates would bet their lives
Believing there was something between us
Even the professors were curious
We stood out among the crowd
We stood out among the audience
You pretty faced beautiful girl
I the tall handsome n gentle man
Weren’t we what adolescent dreams are made of
How they wanted us to be what we were not
How they wished they could prove our denial wrong!
U and I
Raising the bar
Selling romantic dreams

Remember how much we shared
Our joys and sorrows were inextricably linked
I cried your tears
You smiled my smile.
How we would sing along.
How we would love the same songs
How we would not share a word sometimes
And yet know each other’s most hidden thoughts
Our silences even spoke to each other.
Our shadows walked together
Your eyes would question
My eyes always had the answers
Didn’t they envy what we shared?
Didn’t they wish our story was theirs?
U and I
Inebriated
On an emotional high…

Remember always the times that have passed
Now we have busy lives
We have our own journeys to tread
We have our own battles to win
We have our own separate lives to lead
Yet somewhere we are connected
Yet somewhere our souls communicate
Yet somewhere our love is intact
Yet somewhere our feelings still match
Yet somewhere we are just the same old people
Yet somewhere we are just the way we are
U and I
‘hum’ and ‘tum’
Us always !!!!!!

by zaid al baset
© 2007 by Zaid

diary of a broken hearted'MIND'

2007-06-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

09:12:02: i am awake..or am i waking up in a dream????no ..wait..i can see my room...its vibrant blue and yellow walls....my fish(es) are leisurely roaming inside the aquarium....rummaging for food..digging...my home gym looks as dilapidated as my soul..i deliberately avoid looking at the huge mirror in my room..yes i am wide awake.....

09:13:00:i narrow my eyes

09:13:01: i shut them

09:13:03: i open my eyes....rub them ..blink..life sucks...

09:15:45: life still sucks...its been drizzling outside...the sky looks vague and lost.. the clouds have no meaning..they are just hovering about the sky aimlessly just like my eyes hover around them.. the breeze is yawning ...stretching...its making the tired looking curtains fret..it reaches me... i can feel it on my face....i tell the breeze to go get a life...

09:16:52: i will sleep....i shut my eyes and try all sorts of postures in bed....a kamasutra between me and my pillows...head on pillow...head below pillow..head without pillow..pillow clutched by my arms tightly as if i am holding you..(i won't let you go)..pillow between the legs...pillows all around me....nothing works...i can't sleep...sleeping pills are like a politician's promise ..fake with no consequense....i give up....

09:20:12: i am standing at the window...nobody seems happier than the insects it seems...i see bees arranged on top of each other like neatly ironed clothes on a shelf...i wonder what orgy like ritual are they performing....on the other side of the road i look at the square building with square balconies with square towels hanging on undulating ropes and a 1940 engraved on the upper edge of its facade staring at me blankly...(if only it was you). the road is glistening grey....wet earth is burping..footsteps squelch on dirty mud..puddles all over... garbage soup....an urchin is answering nature's call on the pavement....i wonder what would shiv sena have to say about public display of excretion...( you never held my hands in public.maybe you were ashamed of me..you were were'nt you?)

09:25:43:i am staring at the mirror ....i smile a smile that would make monalisa cry and run out of her painting..my canine teeth have become yellower than the permissible limit of beauty....i brush my teeth hard and fast and long..canine teeth still look yellow( how little i have looked at myself these days...all i did was look at you.. admire you)....i wash my face...

09:30:25: im inside the bathroom ...i look at myself in the mirror..i realize my robust physique has shrunk into a delicate figure if you know what i mean.....(i miss the soft flesh of your body)

10:45:33; im travellin in an auto balancing myself next to the driver.. the driver is exasperated because of the traffic...he begins a religious chant of invectives..."mother's cunt !!! the school releases its students at four different times during the day!!!!! mother"s cunt..it causes traffic.....mother's cunt ..reduces our income....when the auto is empty there are no takers.. bloody cock when it is full..evryone wants a ride...bloody whores!!!!!" i don't know how to react...i blush....as though they were sweet nothings and give a silent nod...(you have abused me worse...)

11:05:35: i have reached the university.... if anything looks more meloncholy than me then it is the universtity..i find comfort in its sorrow...(there was no sorrow in your eyes when u left me..they were mocking me)

11:14:40: i have reached a dark looking corrider where bright looking girls and some stupid looking boys are talking animatedly..they are discussing answers to questions being asked at the interview with those already interviewed...i give all answers...girls give me a look of admiration...someone tells me im super intellectual...i think balls!!!!(were'nt you in love with my mind?)

12:25:35: returning home....i wish i could sing...i want to sing the song 'aaj jaane ki zid na karo'i hum the first line and realize that my own soul will leave the body if i continue.. so i stop....i wish i could sing my pain away....i wish i could dance in the rain....(you must be listening to rock songs..playing air guitar)

14:18:56:im restless.. i surf channels hysterically....i try listening to the radio..some bloke is confessing undying love to a girl...i sigh n shut it.....(i am not missing you)..

15:45:23:im lying in bed ....making grand plans about my future...ill study hard...ill do all the right things.... ill stay focussed.... all im focussing on is my cell phone really....switching it off ...then on ...off again... on again.... off on off on off on off on!!!!!!upturned in general mode....away from me in silent mode....i play a game on it....(u think ill wait for your call and keep looking at the cell..noway!!!)

16:35:28: i look at myself in the mirror and smile again...why have the canines become so bloody yellow....is it jaundice i wonder....i brush again.....i tell myself its looking off white.....suddenly i remember how taj mahal is becoming yellow too....air and water pollution....(maybe its your kisses...you yellow dirty big teeth monster how cute you were)

18:32:31: i have walked so much.....im looking good ..people are staring at me....lifes calling me out....i have a half smile on my face...i look at noone walking past me .....im just aware of their stares....a song is playing on my mind.....im moving on...im walking fast....i have no destination though....there are so many peolpe in this world..so many places to go...so many moments to experiance...i feel exhilarated..i feel hopeful ..i feel alive....(Ill forget u ....lifes too long)

20:55:11: spoke to a dear friend...love is taking a toll on her..she had unanswered questions....i knew all the answers ...played agony uncle to the hilt....how much i know about love, life and things beyond.....(i really didnt expect this from you...i didnt know you were such a hypocrite)

22:35:27: lying in bed...silently....staring at nothing....thoughts obfuscated by the noise of an angry downpour...(why?WHy?Why?)

23:15:49: i survived today.....(i survived you)

00:00:00; tommorow is a new day...a new beginning....( without you)

by zaid al baset
© 2007 by Zaid

RUN

2007-06-05T02:33:00.000-07:00

run ....
run as fast as you can
run for your life...
run faster than your breaths
run faster than your thoughts
run so that all u see is a mirage ....
run so that each image blurs into another
till u see nothing........or better still
run with your eyes closed
run run away from your senses
and hide yourself inside an empty room
with no windows...
run run run u bloody coward
dont u dare fall in love
cause u cant endure the intesity of pain
dont u dare writhe in lust
cause you fear the esctasy of touch..
.run run run
your senses will conquer your timidity...
.but u must be a coward all your life
shouldnt you?
so run run run lest u learn to live
run away from this new religion of the senses...
go to the church and confess
go to the mosque and ask forgiveness
go to the temple and ring bells
curse yourself cause u sought pleasure
curse yourself cause u did what u wanted to
curse yourself u rotten sinner
curse your senses...curse the secrets they hide
curse your desires
n wait till u die.....
u will go to heaven..
or burn in hell
and honestly nobody has time to care..
not even your sad angry god and his contrived doctrine.....
good bless
amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by
zaid al baset

2007-05-26T03:01:00.000-07:00

Zaidism – the new religious cult.
I, zaid al baset proclaim myself the founder of this esoteric cult. It is an order strictly based on the principle that mans life on earth should be directed towards and is a function of the only supreme goal of mankind- the pleasure of our senses. I shall further lay down the 10 commandments, which every zaid fearing man must abide by. Each commandment is a pillar on which rests the faith n true meaning of zaidism…these commandments will enrapture your senses for the ultimate truth of mankind is about to be revealed.

TEN COMMANDMENTS OF ZAIDISM

1 You are free to be sexually attracted to any idea, image, living being or an inanimate object n express your attraction without causing any emotional mental or physical degradation to the object of your desire.
Zaidism prescribes sexual desires and sexual activities involving mutual consent among the acting partners.

2 You have the freedom to eat all that you wish to eat, anything from beef to cockroaches even human beings (only the dead ones lest you end up in prison) but u are not allowed to whine n complain about the bulges in your body. Zaidism means being aware of the consequences of your actions. We are all victims of our own choices so don’t you dare cry over split milk

3 You will not shirk from calling a spade a spade. If somebody is a fat stinking ugly pig you must reveal so without any inhibitions of any sort. Zaidism requires that we accept ourselves simply the way we are and we accept others for what they are. Never be ashamed of yourself Revel in your beauty or ugliness and flaunt all that you have with equal zest .the good the bad and the most ugly

4 You must worship anything and everything that is beautiful. Beauty is the true manifestation of the divine. Zaidism has no fix standards of beauty. Henceforth you shall define beauty for yourself n worship its expression whatever it maybe so that you can be true to your senses

5 You must regard your ex-es as your most staunch enemies- men and women or animals that have stabbed and hurt your most tender feelings by using your vulnerability for them. Insult them publicly beat them, seduce their current patners, ignore them and finally completely forget them freeing your soul from any malice and hatred and be ready for your next partner.

6 Do not respect anyone because you are supposed to respect them. Do not love anyone because you are supposed to love them. Do not do any work that you are supposed to do. Respect, feel, love and work only when you want to and feel the need to. Listen to your senses they will never disappoint you. Ofcourse you must bitch about those who you do not either love or respect or both.

7 Use condom always. Never be shy to buy them. Think of them as a status symbol. if u do not wish to use a condom then be celibate or simply go fuck yourself.Zaidism requires ushering a new found respect for alternate sexualities.

8 Virginity beyond 18 years is original sin. You must lose it ASAP or
you will burn in zaid’s hell

9 You will never bow down to anything .you will take the austere path of following your senses leading them to the highest pleasures that which is music to your ears, electrifying to your touch, delicious to your taste, and perfume to your nose.

10 Finally you are free not to follow any of the above principles because your senses do not agree to them. Negate each principle only with the conviction that it does not suit your senses not because your neighbor or friend or society disagrees

Adherence to the above principles will ensure you admittance into zaid’s haven during this very life.
I have also formulated a hymn a prayer that will make u a true apostle of zaidism. You musy recite it 10 times everyday staring at the mirror.

“I am my own culture society and god … I am the best that was ever born”

© 2007 by Zaid

.

2007-05-19T06:47:00.000-07:00

her crooked story

Her eyes are lachrymose
Or may be she’s just too fatigued
Her smile is too artificial.
Or maybe it’s hiding her abomination
Her clothes are too gaudy
Or maybe she doesn’t much care about fashion trends...
Her skins like a glazed brown rubber
Or maybe she just rubs it furiously to cleanse herself of the dirt within
Her frame looks too emaciated
Or maybe she can’t gulp down food after what is being rammed inside her mouth
Her lips never utter a word
Or maybe she has accepted the fact that nobody would listen to her pain.
Her gait carries the burden of misfortune
Or maybe she’s just had a long night at work.
Her child’s uncared for
Or maybe it’s just an occupational hazard
Her thoughts are vague
Or maybe she’s learnt not to think about her ordeal
Her emotions are few
Or maybe her heart has more scars than the marks on her body.
Her soul is soiled
Or maybe its just the need to survive
So now
She sits naked on her rickety bed
Breasts firm on droopy thin shoulders
Legs wide apart…
Waiting for money
Waiting for him
Waiting for redemption
Waiting for freedom
Or maybe just the end of this wretched night…..
© 2007 by Zaid

2007-05-11T01:00:00.000-07:00

A suicide note!

So I thought I’d just let you go..
Let those moments slip away like sands through my empty hands….
I ain’t bad, but I know I ain’t any
good for you…
We didn’t really go wrong, we just didnt seem that right..
I know you’d be happy when I’m gone
My love couldn’t give you what I thought it should..
Sad though cause I gave my all..
So walk away from my life.oh! love
Please don’t turn to give me one last look
Cause my eyes wont lie
Yet I don’t want to stop you…
I’ll just jump from these lonely cliffs
I’ll free myself from hope!

I know I have been a disappointment
And that’s what I’ll always be to you
I know I couldn’t be what u wanted me to be
Even though I really wanted to.
I wish you’d understand
I am that I am
Not an aberration
Not a mistake
And it’s not my fault..
I know its not yours either…
So I wont blame you
I’m sorry I’m not that perfect son
I’m sorry you couldn’t pat my back and be proud of me…
Though I’m proud of you..
So please don’t expect anything anymore from me
Just let me hide my face and cry
Don’t wipe my tears
Let them run dry
Cause here I stand at the edge of these barren cliffs
I’ll free myself from shame!

Oh please don’t remember me anymore…
Do not cling to my memories
For they’ll make u you bitter and sad
Maybe even a little guilty..
Don’t shed a single tear for me
Try once not to mock this last gesture of mine
I will be indebted to you all
I ain’t a coward
And yet this is my steadfast choice
So let me erase myself from your esteemed story
I know for sure I don’t merit a place.. even a tiny role..
Please don’t try to search for me
Let me be lost to the winds of time
Let me drown into the sea of oblivion
I don’t want a fake cortege
No formal good byes
So I’ll just jump off these eternal cliffs
I’ll free myself from existence..
© 2007 by Zaid

valediction

2007-05-11T00:52:00.000-07:00

Caught among the cacaphony of birds,
And the web of dusty leaves
are the soft rays of the setting sun..
A valediction
The end of the day
A journey from life to death...

Peaceful graves
Like the placid breaths of a child fast asleep
Ignorant,unaware,

Some Silent prayers
Some unsaid words
Some irreedemable loss

An unknown fate
Yet so known
An old secret
which everyone knows

A family of four
gather around their loved ones
Some silent tears
Some fragrant flowers
Some old memories...

Two friends Sit on a decrepit bench
Some broken talks...
Some scattered thoughts...
Some strange feelings...

A twisted path lined by pointed stones
traverses its way along lonely tombs..
A doleful epitaph
written for a beloved
carved ornately at the entrance of her last home....

Some last moments
Some lost words...
A farewell

.by zaid al baset
© 2007 by Zaid